When is the right time for me to get a coach?
There are certain questions that I find come up again and again with colleagues and clients, and I want to tackle one of them today:
This can present in different ways. Sometimes, it’s, “I’m thinking about getting a coach but I don’t know if I need one”... or, “I’m kind of intrigued by the idea of getting a coach–but do I really need one?”.
No matter how it’s phrased, the idea that underlies all of these is: I’m thinking about getting a coach, but I’m just not sure. When our brains work to understand ideas that are more abstract (like “Would I benefit from a coaching relationship?”), we can tend to try to make them more concrete–by considering thoughts like “When would I start this?”
Here are a few things to keep in mind if this is something that you are thinking about:
Everything is data. A colleague/friend of mine I met on a project two summers ago used to say this a lot, and it’s SO helpful. She is an Excel and spreadsheets wizard–one of those people who can take complex ideas and distill them into beautiful, clear, easy to understand visuals that capture the theme. We were working on a somewhat complicated project, and as we worked to distill key themes, she said something about how the questions people were asking were data. Suddenly, it was as if my view and lens on the world widened. I realized the way the meetings felt was data. The fact that I mentally rolled my eyes whenever someone cited a particular point was data. I have a personal interest in the subconscious, and how it works, and how our ideas turn into our actions and turn into our lives–I don’t know enough about it here to write a blog post on it yet, but it’s clear to me from all the science and psychology books I’ve read (as well as from my own life): if you are asking yourself a question, or it occurs to you in some way, listen to it. The fact that you are even asking yourself the question “when is the right time for me to get a coach?” is telling you something. If I had to guess, I’d say it’s likely saying you think it’s a good idea, but aren’t sure of the details.
Reflect on what comes up for you when you think about timing. What are things you are considering or thinking about?
Is there a big project or deadline or activity looming? I was talking to a friend yesterday who is moving in 10 days and taking a big trip in three months. Someone was texting her about the trip, and she was like, “I just have to get through this move first.” She needed to take care of the big project right in front of her, then she felt like she had the brain space to tackle the trip. If there’s something analogous for you, that’s worth considering.
Are you waiting on something to happen–like the results of a 360 evaluation, or seeing if you meet your funding goal or what your staff retention looks like? This is something I come across a lot, and I gently try to remind people that no matter what happens with your 360/funding/retention, you are a leader and have a lot going on: chances are that no matter the outcomes, you are going to benefit from some outside perspective and advice! Maybe you’re thinking, “But the 360 will guide what I focus on in coaching!” or, “If I don’t reach that goal, that is what we will work on!”. I get it—and the reality is, we are all always growing along a continuum and there is always work to be done to move along to the next level or stage. I understand that people often want to start coaching in a way that’s like, “I can focus on this now!”--and, at the same time, chances are high that there are some things you aren’t entirely happy with right now you can, and should, start on. (It’s unscientific, but from my perspective every 360 process in the world seems to get delayed constantly!)
Do you want to see what the budget/fundraising looks like before committing to this? This often comes up for nonprofit leaders, who are cost-conscious by nature– I get it, I’ve been there. Please remember what SO many funders and people who have alllll the money at foundations know–the single best place to spend money and invest is in leadership development. If I am trying to knock off a complex domino maze and I can only pick ONE domino to push over, I pick the the one with the most potential impact. In a mission driven organization, that’s the leader. I know that cash flow and where funding is coming from is important–and I also know that it’s always a great place to spend resources. No matter how much the coaching costs, if you ask any decent board member, “Is it worth it to you to spend X amount of dollars on ensuring the leadership feels effective in their role and like it is sustainable for the long haul?” the answer is unequivocally yes.
Remember that it takes a minute to get the wheels in motion. To start working with a coach, there are a few steps—maybe reaching out to your networks to see who they recommend as a coach, or doing some online searches. Then, you likely want to set up introduction or discovery calls to talk to people–it’s important to see who you click with, especially in coaching! Then, there are contracts to be signed, deposits to be paid, a first meeting to be set around people’s schedules, vacations, etc. I am someone who can usually turn things around pretty quickly (my #1 Gallup Strength is Activator, so I like to dive right in) and the fastest I have ever met with someone is within 10 days. Sometimes it takes months to get started! (Topic for another day: complex accounts payable operations at many nonprofits…) All of these mini-steps speak to the point of timing–and more importantly from my perspective, each mini-step signals to yourself: “I am worth investing in. My development is important.”
Rephrase it this way and see what you think. Sometimes I see people keep delaying in getting a coach, and I ask them to say: “My professional growth and development is just not a priority to me.” When they say it out loud, sometimes the reaction is to say, “What? No! It is!” and then we talk through one of those mini-steps that might help them on the coaching path, so they can demonstrate that they do prioritize themselves. Sometimes they say, “You know, what, my growth and development is not a priorityright now–I have a lot going on..”. That’s a sign too—that it’s okay to wait. Revisit in 3, 6, 9 months and see what you think.
There’s no magic answer to what’s best or when is the best time to start. In some ways it’s like that proverb (that I love):
It’s the same with coaching–it would have been great to have started years ago, but if you didn’t–well, the next best time is generally now.
I’m pretty passionate about coaching–partly because that’s what part of my work! If you’re interested in learning more, check my coaching services page or book an introductory call if you want to talk more about what working with me might look like.