Two “Due Dates:” An 11 Year Anniversary
Walking around the city this summer, I love seeing teeny babies out and about: in the carrier, snuggled close to a grown-up, or being pushed in a stroller, with a muslin blanket covering them. It brings back so many memories of 11 (!) summers ago, when my daughter was a baby–also known as the summer that I learned that sometimes something that seems as simple as taking the baby to Starbucks is actually a massive effort!
Me & baby C in the fall of 2012, just a couple months after we submitted the charter application!
Today in particular, some other memories also surface: eleven years ago this week, the charter application I wrote for the school I founded was due (yes — you did the math correctly there, my “due dates” for both my firstborn child and firstborn school were just a couple months apart!). I had been preparing for almost a year: recruiting a Board of Directors, designing a school model, visiting over 50 high performing schools to learn their secret sauces and consider what the secret sauce for my school might be...and so much more. In the large urban district where I opened my school, there was a very clear process to opening a school: the district would issue a Request for Proposals (RFP) which would lay out a clear timeline, including interviewing, additional rounds of documents due and a public hearing.
The entire time I was pregnant, I was obsessed with wondering when the RFP would come out (THAT part of the timeline was unfortunately, not clear). I knew from district intel that it would be a quick turnaround once it came out–likely the legally minimum six weeks. While many questions would likely be the same as the RFPs from previous years, I was warned there would be many new components that would be rigorous. Templates (like for budget and facilities) would be similar, but also require building from scratch with the up-to-date information that would be in the RFP.
Of course, I was considering the RFP timeline against the timeline of the human I was growing: a timeline I was learning I didn’t really have a ton of influence over! When I talked with my doctor about travel restrictions and what to expect with delivery timing, she breezily said, “Well, we don’t really know when a baby would come. Honestly if things go okay, it could be anytime after April 15.” April 15?? I was due on May 11! That was a huge range! What if the baby was born April 15, the RFP came out April 15, and I had to figure out that disastrous coincidence! It was a real lesson to me as a first time parent that despite all that doctors know, there’s a lot doctors don’t know–including the day (or even week!) my child would be born!
Balancing those two unpredictable timelines taught me a lot–about how to let go, accept that there are things we can’t know, and trust that when the unexpected happens, we will figure it out. (That didn’t stop me from having plenty of nightmares about being in the delivery room and learning the RFP was being released at that minute!)
About six weeks after she was born, my husband and I were out to dinner–maybe our second outing alone since the baby was born. He went to the bathroom when we got to the restaurant and I decided to check my email (which by the way, is never really a great idea)--and it turns out, at 6:30 p.m. that day, the RFP had been released. It was due in six weeks.
You can guess what our dinner conversation was about: me freaking out a little, thinking about some upcoming travel, childcare and our summer plans–and him listening very patiently. I felt strongly that I was holding two things I wanted to be true: I wanted to pursue this professional dream and open a school in a community that very much needed it… and I wanted to continue to give myself time to settle into this new identity of Mom and bond with my daughter and adjust to this new life stage. I was so worried I could do one or the other: not both.
Guess what though? I did do both. I was able to get the charter finished (the final submission was over 750 pages!) and my daughter grew and thrived. It was great practice for the realities of being a Mom with a big job: the juggling I started to do then was practice for what I did (and continue to do) to this day.
Initially the timing seemed impossible–and I certainly spent a lot of time worrying about outcomes. But with the help and encouragement of some great coaches (including one who held my baby while reviewing edits!), I was able to figure it out.
If you’re feeling stuck or like timing is impossible for priorities you simultaneously hold as important, book a call with me to talk through how you might approach this–I help people reconcile competing priorities all the time, and ultimately figure out ways through the seemingly treacherous pathways, without sacrificing yourself.