If you're not a video person (and I'm not, so no judgment) and you don't want to watch the video I made on how to use my self-care calendar, here's a quick how-to showing how I use it (although there really is no right or wrong way, so adapt away in whatever way best serves you).

I'm a strong believer in what I once heard Michelle Obama call the oxygen mask theory of parenting, which is that you have to put on your own oxygen mask before you can take care of anyone else, and that's true for leaders. As leaders we are often taking care of others - making sure they're successful at their job, making sure goals are being met, making sure that people are productive and behaving in an appropriate way. If we don't take care of ourselves, it's very hard to do that work. You cannot pour from an empty cup. That's one of the reasons why self-care is such a passion of mine and why I'm so excited to share this calendar with you. I hope you enjoy and I look forward to hearing your stories about how you use it to help fill your bucket!

Overview: At the beginning of each month, I first create my Legend. This is different for everyone because what fills people up is different for everyone—and for me I often change it month to month, depending on the season. To make the Legend, ask "Does this activity fill me up and recharge me? Is it a way of taking care of myself?" If the answer is "YES!!" then include it. If it's "Kind of, but I really feel if I (ate more vegetables, stretched every night, etc.) I'd be happier".. then nope. This is about doing things that recharge you. Habit forming is another topic for another day.

Each activity is then assigned points. I typically do 1, 2, 3 or 4 but you do you on this boo—whatever works. If it requires more effort it's worth more points, if it's a relatively easy lift- it's worth less. If it really fills me up and I love it, I'll give it more points, if it is just a general feeling of "yeah, it helps" I'll give it less points. There is no wrong or right way to do this.

1. To fill out the Legend, I ask myself these questions.

   1. What am I doing to take care of my body? (Spoiler: if we're not eating, sleeping or moving our body it's very hard to feel recharged.) I then think of activities and put them in. For me, it's almost always Soulcycle, and sometimes yoga or sleep goals. I recently put in eat a salad once a day and that helped me eat more veggies, which was good.

   2. What am I doing to take care of my mind? For me, meditating and reading almost always make the list, and sometimes journalling or taking a class.

   3. What am I doing for my spirit/social life? For me this is often seeing a friend or talking to someone on the phone.

   4. Is there something about this month or season that I want to capture and maximize on? In summer for me it's sitting outside, or going for ice cream, or going to the beach.

Once I fill out the Legend, I keep this self-care calendar next to my bed and I take 30 seconds to tally my daily points that day as I climb into bed. I'll ask myself: "How many points did I earn today? and add up the numbers. Then I'll start to reflect "Ok, I have 6 points for today, how do I feel? Do I feel like I'm taking good care of myself? Should I do more?" If I start to notice trends, if I'm below 5 for a couple days in a row, I need a day that's a 10! Maybe I'm good about doing this on the weekends but not during the week or vice versa.

Hopefully this is a helpful example for you and some good questions for you to think through as you go through the self-care calendar. A self-care calendar you can use anytime can be downloaded here; it’s always a great day to start taking care of yourself!

What are some of your self-care tips? Leave a comment below so we can all benefit!

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